Saturday, March 17, 2012

Palermo

No, I did not bring a camera to Oxford.  Yes I am a moron.  If you want pictures, google "Palermo" and get better pictures than I can deliver.

LonelyPlanet calls Palermo a city of "decaying splendor", which is an extremely accurate description.  The city is a claustrophobic, loud, dingy mess, dotted with extremely impressive buildings that all need repair.  For example, I went to examine what appeared to be the remains of a Greek temple, only to realize that the floor was covered in ratty blankets and cardboard boxes.  This tremendous piece of architecture was being used by the homeless since it gave them protection from the rain.

Other interesting sights in Palermo:
-A girl who looked like she was about 9 years old smoking a cigarette.
-A group of people slowly pushing their car down a busy street.
-A marble statue standing amid a pile of rubble that was being bulldozed away.
-Ambulances and fire trucks getting stuck in Palermo traffic.  Watching an ambulance sit motionless, sirens wailing, really makes one realize how efficient American and British traffic systems are by comparison.
-A group of kids playing soccer and running into a busy street after the ball.  Drivers in Palermo are terrifying.  Left turn on red seems to be legal, and cars frequently run red lights entirely.  Cars will also cross double yellow lines to pass each other, which is about as terrifying to watch as it sounds.

Basically:  Do not drive in Palermo.  Or walk in Palermo.  Or ride a bike in Palermo (these people are also mad).  I recommend using a jetpack or some other aerial transportation mechanism.

Also, I've never seen a city that so clearly did not have its shit together.  The Palermo cathedral (really magnificent and unique cross between Romanesque and Moorish architecture) claimed to charge admission, but I walked right in while looking around in bafflement for a ticket counter.  I eventually found a counter, bought a ticket, and walked into a special area which my ticket did not cover.  When I was in the crypts one emergency exit sign pointed to a crumbling and almost inaccessible ladder, leading up a dark tower.  In an emergency, if that is your only exit path you are very screwed.  Similarly, the castle at Palermo is currently used to house the Sicilian parliament and some military installation.  This would be like holding parliament in the Tower of London.  Problems started before I even got out of the airport. The Palermo baggage carousel did not work properly, prompting the Italian guy I had been sitting next to on the plane to snarkily comment "welcome to Sicily".

After a few days, I got used to the very un-Oxford zaniness and chaos of Palermo.  Unfortunately, due to personal drama I was miserable for most of my stay.  Sicily is beautiful, but it is hard to appreciate when you feel like shit.  I'll just mention one anonymous Sicilian guy who cheered me up immensely.

One of the sights in Palermo is the Teatro Maximo, this absolutely gargantuan opera house.  If this structure was in Rome, it would just look like an extremely impressive opera house in need of repairs.  In Palermo, it looks ludicrous.  There cannot be enough opera lovers within 20 miles to fill this thing - each side is half a block long.  Anyway, I was moping around there and wandered into one of the million of little cafes that dot Palermo.  I was even spacier than usual, and managed to knock this tray of brioches (at least I think that's what they were) onto the floor.

I was already having a terrible day, and now felt like a total moron.  I desperately tried apologizing to the guy behind the counter in my non-existent Italian.  He insisted that I sit down (I was planning on ordering something to go), calm down, and gave me the most delicious cannoli I've ever had in my life.  He also refused to accept any money for the brioches, or my 400% tip for the cannoli.  That was actually the only cannoli I had in Palermo -- that place was closed when I went there again that evening.  I know that guy will never know it, but he really brightened up my day.



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